Writing and Music

“This Last Chance” – New Release from D.L. Finn -@dlfinnauthor!

Published on May 28, 2020May 24, 2020 by Jan Sikes57 Comments

I am super excited to tell you about a brand new book from D.L. Finn! I had the pleasure of being a beta-reader for this book and folks, you are in for a treat! This is a really good story! I’ll let D.L. tell you more about it!

Thank you for having me here today, Jan, and sharing my new release of This Last Chance😊

Behind This Last Chance

This Last Chance is about an evildwel, Nester, and human, Amber, looking for answers.

Yet, there’s a theme that is found not only in This Last Chance, but This Second Chance, and The Button. Alcoholism has played a role in the lives of the main characters. This addiction is very personal, and I quickly learned, growing up, that alcoholism can be an evil presence in my life and others. The ones who quit drinking in my family have survived, including me.

Amber’s mother is an alcoholic and has never been there for her. Although Amber doesn’t have a drinking problem, it’s taken a toll on her trust and willingness to enter relationships. Nester doesn’t drink but feeds on the outcome of what alcoholism does.

This is a part of my experience woven into stories. Like my characters, I’ve had to make choices between what I consider good and evil. I like to believe, like the angels, that good always wins over evil.

Blurb:

Six months after Amber’s sister is brutally murdered, she’s still looking for answers, and now someone is stalking her and no one believes her. Home alone with a powerful snowstorm approaching, Amber is determined to take control of the investigation by hiring a private detective, but her plans are disrupted when she finds herself snowed in with people she may not be able to trust. Meanwhile, Nester the evildwel, whose entire existence has been feeding on fear and pain, is seeking help from the angel who’s protecting Amber. Nester and Amber need answers. Can Amber figure out what’s going on with some subtle help from an angel? Will Nester find what he needs from his enemies? The worlds of good and evil clash, and the outcome will determine not only Amber’s and Nester’s fate but life as they know it.

Excerpt from This Last Chance.

Chapter 2

The gloomy gray afternoon was framed in the small office window like a dismal black and white photograph. Amber’s world reflected this monochromatic existence as her fingers furiously tapped away on the keyboard. Even the rare shimmer of a positive political piece couldn’t instill illumination into the murkiness labeled as grief. But how could she feel otherwise after what had happened? The fulfillment her job used to offer wasn’t important in her new reality, including this piece about the new presidential candidate, Myles Stroud. The man her sister, Iris, used to work for… before.

Amber choked back the sadness that still threatened to consume her whenever she thought about her twin sister. If she let those tears escape the heavy barrier she’d built up over the last six months, she knew her coworkers would be at her side. They cared, and she couldn’t fault them for trying, but their advice was meant for someone who had closure.

“You need to move on, Amber.”

That line had assaulted her ears like an eager beginner’s drum solo. She was surprised that her eardrums hadn’t burst with good intentions. Amber shook her head and stretched out her legs and arms in her small white cubicle. Heavily buttered popcorn whiffed its way out of the lunchroom, but it didn’t trigger hunger; instead, it promoted an uneasy queasiness. Amber slowly sipped water from her crystal-infused water bottle, forcing the kaleidoscope of emotions back down into that familiar numbness. Finally, working robot Amber took charge and was able to focus on double-checking facts and punctuation. Her reputation rested on truth. No slanting a story for either side, even for this candidate. Independent Senator Stroud made her job easier, though.

“I think he’s the one who will finally fix things,” Iris had declared brightly over breakfast one morning. Amber had believed her then, but now?

AMAZON ORDER LINK

Author Bio:

D. L. Finn is an independent California local who encourages everyone to embrace their inner child. She was born and raised in the foggy Bay Area, but in 1990 she relocated with her husband, kids, dogs, and cats to Nevada City, in the Sierra foothills. She immersed herself in reading all types of books but especially loved romance, horror, and fantasy. She always treasured creating her own reality on paper. Finally, surrounded by towering pines, oaks, and cedars, her creativity was nurtured until it bloomed. Her creations include adult fiction, poetry, a unique autobiography, and children’s books. She continues on her adventure with an open invitation to all readers to join her.

FUN FINN FACTS:

Yes, I do believe we get messages from angels.
The bear on This Last Chance’s cover was in my garage. I took the picture.
My favorite children’s books were A Wrinkle in Time, The Hobbit, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty.

D.L. Finn Links:

Purchase Links:

Celebrating Harriet Hodgson @healthmn1 #RRBC #RWISA

Published on May 27, 2020 by Jan Sikes23 Comments

Today, Wednesday, 5/27/20 we are honoring the GRAND PRIZE Winner of our 2019 KCT INT’L LITERARY AWARDS Contest, “SO, YOU’RE RAISING YOUR GRANDKIDS!” by RWISAAuthor, Harriet Hodgson.

And I’m SUPER excited about that. At 84 years young, Harriet is an inspiration!

HARRIET HODGSON BIO

Rochester, Minnesota resident Harriet Hodgson has been a freelance writer for 38 years, is the author of thousands of articles, and 36 books. She has a BS from Wheelock College in Boston, an MA from the University of Minnesota, and additional graduate training.

Hodgson is a member of the Association of Health Care Journalists and the Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi). She is a contributing writer for the Open to Hope Foundation, The Grief Toolbox, and The Caregiver Space websites. Visit www.thecaregiverspace.org/authors/hhodgson to read her articles.

Hodgson has appeared on more than 185 talk radio shows, including CBS Radio, dozens of television stations, including CNN, and dozens of blog talk radio programs. A popular guest, she has given presentations at public health, Alzheimer’s, bereavement, and caregiving conferences.

Her recent work is based on Hodgson’s 21 years as a family caregiver. She was her mother’s family caregiver for nine years, her twin grandchildren’s guardian and caregiver for seven years, and is in her fifth year as her disabled husband’s caregiver. Visit Harriet’s RRBC Author Page to find out more about this busy wife, grandmother, caregiver, and author, as well as more information on her many other books listed in the RRBC catalog.

BOOK BLURB:

If you are a grandparent raising your grandchildren, help has arrived.

According to the US Census Bureau, more than 10% of all grandparents in the nation are raising their grandkids, and the number is going up. You may be one of the millions of these grandparents and it’s a role you never expected. Willing as you are to assume this role, you have some questions. How will I find the energy for this? Is my grandchild normal? What if I “blow it?” Each day, you look for ways to make life easier.

This book will:

•Help ease your worries and guilt;
•Offer tips for creating a grandfamily;
•Give methods for improving grandparent-grandchild communication;
•Suggest ideas for how you can connect with your grandchild’s school;
•Provide child development information;
•Recommend approaches to help your grandchild set goals;
•Stress the importance of having fun together;
•Offer ideas of how to foster your grandchild’s hopes and dreams.

So, You’re Raising Your Grandkids blends Harriet Hodgson’s wise and moving grandparenting story with recent research and findings. It shares her 21 years of caregiving experience, including seven years of raising her twin grandkids. Each chapter ends with What Works, proven tips for grandparents raising grandkids.

At the end, you’ll cheer for all the loving grandparents—including you—who are putting grandchildren first.

PURCHASE LINK:

#TarotTuesday – 2 of Cups

Published on May 26, 2020May 24, 2020 by Jan Sikes39 Comments

Welcome to another Tarot Tuesday!

If you are just joining me, let me explain the inspiration to begin these posts. In Texas, and all across the country, Taco Tuesday is a popular day when Tacos are usually 99 cents. So, I had the inspiration, or Angel nudge as I like to think of it, to create a Tarot Tuesday. Each Tuesday I will post a different Tarot card and give its meaning. I pray and ask for the right card that will bring a universal message.

I created a short video to demonstrate how I pull the card for the posts. If you’re interested, here’s a LINK.

Today’s card is from the Minor Arcana and is the Two of Cups.

The keywords for this card are: Unified love, partnership, and mutual attraction.

The two of Cups is the flow of love between two people. With this card, you are creating deep connections and partnerships, based on shared values, compassion, and unconditional love. While these relationships are still in the early stages, they have the potential to grow and develop into something deeply fulfilling and rewarding in the long-term. You have mutual respect and appreciation for one another, and together you reach higher planes of consciousness and understanding.

When the Two of Cups card appears in a Tarot reading, you may enter a new partnership, perhaps with a lover, friend or business partner. You are both focused on creating a relationship that is mutually beneficial, one that will create a win-win situation for both parties. You see ‘eye to eye’ and appreciate what each other can bring to the table.

In a romantic relationship, the Two of Cups shows a blossoming new union based on mutual attraction. There is both a physical and soul connection that leaves you giddy and weak at the knees. You bring out the best in each other and lift each other to even higher levels of potential. The exchange of emotion is heartfelt, and you are both willing to do whatever it takes to support one another. In some cases, the Two of Cups can refer to a marriage, proposal or engagement.

In a business partnership, the Two of Cups is a sign you are both on the same wavelength and share a similar vision for the venture you are creating together. You may not have the same skills as each other, but you create a beautiful synergy when you work together. For example, one of you may be talented at sales and marketing while the other excels at managing the business’s operations. A partnership like this – built on trust, harmony, and mutual respect – is likely to succeed so long as you continue to communicate with one another and focus on your shared alignment. (Though, it never hurts to have a contract or agreement in place to ensure this dreamy business partnership continues this way.)

Most interesting. For me, since I just signed the contract with The Wild Rose Press Publishing house, I see this card as symbolic of that new relationship. I like the way the card refers to it as a partnership, because that’s truly what it is – built on trust, harmony and mutual respect. All great stuff! How about you? Does this card speak to you in any way?

As always, thank you for joining me! See you next Tuesday for another inspiring message from the Universe via the Tarot Cards!

As always, I use the Rider-Waite Radiance deck and BiddyTarot.com for interpretations.

Guest Interview On Allan Hudson’s (@hudson_allan) Blog!

Published on May 23, 2020May 23, 2020 by Jan Sikes

I am super excited to be a guest on fellow-blogger, Allan Hudson’s awesome site today! I enjoyed answering his questions and am grateful for his generosity! Please head over! Share and leave a comment! Thank you!!!

http://allanhudson.blogspot.com/2020/05/award-winning-author-jan-sikes-of-texas.html

#RWISA “RISE-UP” TOUR DAY 12, Nonnie Jules @nonniejules #RRBC #RRBC_COMMUNITY #RWISARISEUP

Published on May 20, 2020 by Jan Sikes14 Comments

Today is the final day of the RWISA “RISE-UP” Blog Tour and we close it out with our RRBC and RWISA President, Nonnie Jules.

by Nonnie Jules

By Friday, I doubted that I would even be part of this event. I’m sure many of you noticed that I kept moving others ahead of me and ahead of me, until I ran out of members to move – as I struggled with finding the time in my schedule to write something. As of this morning, I had finally decided that I just wasn’t going to be able to participate, as again, I saw no opening in my schedule that would allow it.

Then, I got a phone call at 7:37 this evening from a friend, sharing that her relative had just attempted suicide due to his personal struggles since the arrival of COVID19. He had lost his job, had received an eviction notice, and saw no clear path to anything remotely close to “better” while the Coronavirus lingered. That conversation forced me to sit down at my desk just as soon as I hung up the phone. What you will find below may not be that great, but it’s what my heart rolled out in the final hour.

***

And So, I Believed

We are living through what is possibly the most trying time in many of our lives. We are a world on lock-down, and though there are those of us who are living a bit more comfortably than others during this pandemic, many in the world are suffering.

Some of us are not concerned with how our mortgages and car notes will get paid. Some of us aren’t concerned with where our next meal will come from, or, if we’ll have to suffer through another night filled with tears streaming down the faces of our hungry children, along with our own tears of helplessness.

For those who suffer with mental illness, their situations are creating a new wave of crisis, as many who see no way out, are, out of fear and desperation, turning to suicide.

My heart breaks for these innocents in this war.

***

It’s quiet.

I’m afraid. 

I’ve been locked up inside for so long, I don’t know my nights from my days.

It’s lonely.

I’m scared.

There’s no place to hide, and no other place to go, because it’s everywhere.

I need to make a run

…just out to the store

…but, I’m not even sure

…it’s safe to open my door.

It’s in the air we breathe

…on everything that we touch

I never realized until now

…I needed people so much. 

I’ve no medical insurance

…so, I mustn’t get sick. 

My stomach is growling

…but, it will soon quit. 

I’ll just stay inside for now.

I do need my meds

…to kill the voices in my head.

They’ve never been this loud before.

A little knock at the door

…would really help right now.

It’s too quiet.

I’m so afraid.

I open my wallet and remember…

I haven’t even gotten paid.

What will I do?

How will I survive?

I don’t even know if it’s worth staying alive.

And, what will I eat?

What about the heat?

I know that it’s summer

…and it’s supposed to be hot

…but, this thing has me terrified

…all tied up in knots.

So, I strangely shiver as if it is cold.

While parts of the world move, my life is on hold. 

Under the covers

…the only place I feel safe.

Oh, how I wish

…to feel the sun on my face.

How will I cover

…the rent that is due?

My landlord’s expecting

…to be paid at two.

Some understand

…but others not

My luck ran out

…with the landlord I got.

“I’ve got a family to feed – you’ve only got you.”

He does not see that only me has to eat, too.

I don’t have the rent, dear Lord.

What will I do?

Where will I go?

I need a sign

…because I just don’t know.

How long will this crisis last?

No one knows for sure.

I’m afraid of my thoughts.

How much more can I endure?

I just don’t know.

My mind is racing

…it just won’t stop.

Please slow it down, Lord

…these thoughts are just not – to your liking.

I cover my mouth

A cough escapes.

I drift over to the window

…and pull back the drapes.

Unlocking the locks

…one by one

I can hear the calling 

…not a voice, but a gun.

No, too noisy, I think.

And what if I miss?

I’m already afraid to even consider this.

Now, it’s a voice – louder – more clear

Almost a shout – deep in my ear.

“Come closer to me.

Look, I’m down here.”

Five stories below me

Cars rushing by

I hear the voice again

“C’mon, you can fly.”

I look back over my shoulder

As my landlord knocks

Then I glance at the wall

…it’s straight two o’clock.

“Why are you hesitant? There’s only pain here for you.

There’s nobody to help, so, what will you do?

The world is on lockdown, but you can be free.

Do not wait another second; come and join me!

You see, I am free – down here.

And don’t forget, you can fly.”

And so, I believed.

***

To everyone reading this who might be struggling with thoughts in their head, that under normal circumstances wouldn’t make sense, yet, they seem to make sense in the moment, what you should always remember is that the devil is alive and well, and sometimes looks and sounds just like you and me. {And of course, he wants you to join him…in hell.}

Fight those voices that encourage you to harm yourself and others.

If you were not born a bird or created in the likeness of some type of aircraft, listen to ME – you cannot fly.

Please take a moment to visit Nonnie Jules’ RWISA Author Page!

Thank you for supporting today’s RWISA author along the RWISA “RISE-UP” Blog Tour! To follow along with the rest of the tour, please visit the main RWISA”RISE-UP” Blog Tour page on the RWISA site. For a chance to win a bundle of 15 e-books along with a $5 Amazon gift card, please leave a comment on the main RWISA”RISE-UP” Blog Tour page! Once you’re there, it would be nice to also leave the author a personal note on their dedicated tour page, as well. Thank you, and good luck!

#TarotTuesday – 3 of Pentacles

Published on May 19, 2020May 17, 2020 by Jan Sikes35 Comments

Welcome to another Tarot Tuesday!

I created a short video to demonstrate how I pull the card for the posts. If you’re interested, here’s a LINK.

Today’s card is the Three of Pentacles.

The Keywords for this card are: Teamwork, collaboration, learning, and implementation.

The stonemason couldn’t build the cathedral without the help of the architects, and they couldn’t build it without him. Each person has an important role to play, and when they come together as a team, they can create something much more significant than if they were to undertake the project on their own. So, when the Three of Pentacles turns up in a Tarot reading, take it as a sign to collaborate with others, creating synergies to achieve big results.

The Three of Pentacles represents the value of different ideas and levels of experience in collaboration. The architects respect the specialized knowledge of the stonemason, and the stonemason appreciates the wisdom and experience of the architects. Even though their backgrounds, experience levels and expertise are very different, they can come together to share their insight in a way that creates synergy and improves the finished product. There is no ‘us and them’ or any sense of superiority. Instead, each person has something to offer and is willing to learn from the others involved in the project. Everyone is getting the job done collectively and contributes to the group through active listening and sharing. As you work on projects with others, acknowledge the value that each person brings to the table. You will also learn from each member of the team when you see his or her unique contribution.

The Three of Pentacles, like the Threes in the other suits, marks the initial stages of implementation that follow the Ace‘s idea phase and the planning step of the Two. You know what you want to create; you’ve laid out the plans, gathered your resources (money, people and time), and set to work – you may have already reached your first significant milestone. Of course, you are nowhere near the finish line just yet, but you have got the ball rolling and are making things happen.

As you implement your plans, you will realize that you have the skills, capabilities and resources you need to accomplish your objectives. See the Three of Pentacles as an encouragement that you are on the right track. You are competent at what you do, and you are making progress. Keep going! Adequate preparation, management and organization are also integral components of the Three of Pentacles. Achieving significant goals, such as building a grand cathedral, requires detailed planning. This card, therefore, tells you to create a comprehensive plan and to follow a schedule. Now is when good project management will pay off.

Oh my goodness! I swear you cannot make this stuff up. This card is 100% on the mark for me right now. Not only am I embarking on a partnership with a publisher, but also am getting going with a critique group. I love how the Universe knows the exact message we need each week. Let me hear from you!

Thank you for joining me! See you next Tuesday for another inspiring message from the Universe via the Tarot Cards!

As always, I use the Rider-Waite Radiance deck and BiddyTarot.com for interpretations.

#RWISA “RISE-UP” TOUR DAY 11, Peggy Hattendorf @peggyhattendorf #RRBC #RRBC_COMMUNITY #RWISARISEUP

Published on May 16, 2020 by Jan Sikes28 Comments

I’m happy to welcome RWISA Author, Peggy Hattendorf to my blogsite today.

by Peggy Hattendorf

“Mother is the most beautiful word on the lips of mankind.” Kahlil Gibran

We define, mother or mom, as the female parent, whose responsibilities center around the physical and emotional care of a child, who may or may not be her own biological offspring. In certain circumstances, childcare commitments may be handled by the grandmother, stepmother, foster mother, godmother, or mother-in-law. All categories of “mothers” who have a hand in nurturing, teaching, and fostering the development of a child, deserve respect and admiration.

The American terms, mother, or mom, adopted from the British English names, mummy or mum, sound remarkably similar or are spelled the same, in many languages around the world.

Whether we say,

Mother or Mom – American English
Mummy or Mum – British English
Mother or Mom – Canadian English or Maman – French-speaking province of Quebec
Madre – Spanish
La Mere – French
Moeder – Afrikaans
Ma – Hindi (India)
Moeder – Dutch
Madre or Mamma – Italian
Mama – Romanian
Matka – Polish
Mor or Mamma – Norwegian
Mum – Australian English
Mum – New Zealand English
Mueter – Swiss German
Mamma – Swedish
Mutter – German
Me – Vietnamese

the meaning and the identity of the person referenced is the same – the female parent of a child.

The initial love and affection, devotion, and care, given by our mothers, cultivated our early introduction to life and the universe around us. It provided the initial foundation and perceptionsof the world as a happy, gentle, and kind place or a world to be viewed as hostile, brutal and unkind.

Without the support, training, guidance, and discipline set by our mothers, we would not have grown into social beings, in the image of God. Mothers help prepare us with knowledge, skills, and abilities to mature and become independent. In so doing, our mothers sacrificed many of their desires and needs for our necessities and demands.

If the virtuous governing principles of life are learned by teaching and examples bestowed by our mothers, then a “world without mothers” would be:

A world with significantly less women
A world devoid of selflessness and unconditional love
A world less disciplined and restrained
A world less organized and efficient
A world less righteous, decent, and understanding
A world less emotional, demonstrative, and affectionate
A world with less compassion and empathy
A world less patient, kind, and gentle
A world with less encouragement and motivation
A world less balanced and controlled
A world less polite and respectful
A world less thoughtful, tender, and considerate
A world less merciful and forgiving

Mothers play an indispensable role which is hard to duplicate. As infants nearly all of our physical needs are attended by our mothers. That physical care prevailed as we started to crawl and then walk, babble, and then talk, and shed our diapers when toilet trained. Our safety, protection and physical well-being remained paramount to our mothers even as we matured and entered adulthood.

For many of us, the emotional care given by our biological mothers originated before we were born. After birth, we were embraced with love and affection. That unconditional love stands as the cornerstone of the mother and child relationship. As our mothers motivated and inspired, encouraged, and supported, they provided the strength necessary for us to grow and mature. As our first instructors, they taught us about love, and hope, faith and spirituality, acceptance and tolerance, courage, and bravery, confidence, and determination, giving, and charity.

And they raised us to let us go and assume independence; all-the-while, we remain in our mothers’ hearts and souls forever. Mothers change the world with every child they raise.

Women are not handed an “instruction kit” as they assume the role of motherhood. No guidebooks, training manuals, or college courses prepare them for the most challenging, yet most fulfilling experience of their lives.

It is hard to envision a world without our best supporter, best listener, and best friend forever. Mothers are the ones who are always happy to hear from us, no matter what we are calling about, or when we are calling. They are the ones that will drive us crazy – but we know will always be there. And no matter our age, we always need our mothers. My mother has been gone for twenty-one years, but there is not a day, I do not wish I could pick up the telephone and speak with her.

Below, my grandchildren and daughter have shared their perspectives on what life would be like without mothers.

From my 16-year old granddaughter Anabella:

“I can’t imagine a world without moms, as my mom is my biggest supporter and sometimes my biggest critic. My mom has always been there to laugh at me when I fall, but to also pick me up and wipe my tears. I love my mom; she is always there to help me. She is my best friend. I can come to her with all my problems and she is always there with a witty comment and some friendship knowledge.”

From my 15-year old granddaughter Skylar:

“A world without moms would be dark and unforgiving. There would be no one to love you unconditionally, no one to bring you back up when you are sad and feeling down. You would not have your biggest cheerleader and fiercest defender by your side. You would not have that unconditional love that a mother gives to her child. And you wouldn’t have anyone who utterly understands you like your mother.”

From my 10-year old grandson Erik:

“What a world without moms? No, that cannot be, because it means everything in the world to me to have a mom. She takes care of me when I am sick.”

From my daughter Rebecca, the mother of Anabella and Erik:

“Strong women raise strong girls and you are the strongest woman I know. I can’t imagine the world without you and all the other strong wonderful moms.”

It would be a decisively different and fragmented world without the love, hugs, and the comforting touches of mothers.

In a world without moms, we would lose our navigational compass, our emotional barometer, and our positioning in the world-order. We would be set adrift in an ocean of ever-changing conditions and unknown dangers. Thankfully, we have mothers and live on a planet fondly called “Mother Nature” or “Mother Earth” from the Greco-Roman personification of nature that focuses on the life-giving and nurturing aspects of nature by embodying it, in the form of a mother.

Please take a moment to visit Peggy Hattendorf’s RWISA Author Page!

#RWISA “RISE-UP” TOUR DAY 10, Maura Beth Brennan @maurabeth2014 #RRBC #RRBC_COMMUNITY #RWISARISEUP

Published on May 15, 2020May 14, 2020 by Jan Sikes21 Comments

Today, I welcome a new RWISA member, Maura Beth Brennan to my blog.

MEMORIES OF MOM

By Maura Beth Brennan

I miss my Mom’s quirks. Her superstitions, for instance.

“Don’t you dare put your shoes on that table,” she would say. She wasn’t talking about putting shoe-clad feet on the coffee table. She didn’t want anyone putting a shoebox containing new shoes on a table—any table. Such an action could have dire consequences. That box must be placed on the floor. Period.

No one in our house would have dared leave a wet umbrella open to dry inside the house. That would have, according to Mom, invited disaster. And if you left the house by the front door, you had better return that way. If not, who knew what tragedy might befall you?

Now, when I walk my dog through the woods and take a shortcut home, I double around the house to reenter through the same door. I can still hear her voice, warning me. I leave that dripping umbrella on the porch. I place that shoebox on the floor. Because my mother—she’s a deep, tenacious part of me.

I miss so many things about her—her funny remarks, her kindnesses, her soft voice. I say things to my daughter and think, there is my mother talking. She blurted the funniest things sometimes, and Dad, my brothers, and I sometimes teased her about it. One source of our amusement was her habit of mixing up common clichés. “Sit down, let’s chew the breeze,” my mom would say. Or, “It’s six of one, a dozen of the other.” When we’d laugh, she’d look confused until she realized what she had said. Then, she’d laugh along. She was the inspiration for the mother in two of my short stories, where the mother’s sayings always came out wrong.

I miss having Mom to lean on. One difficult year, I had to take a leave of absence from work. A new house, a demanding job, a young daughter, night school to earn a degree—it was suddenly all too much for me, and I couldn’t seem to stop crying. One morning, as I sat feeling sorry for myself, I heard a knock at my door. There was Mom, smiling, bearing homemade muffins for us to share. She settled me at the kitchen table. “Now, don’t you cry anymore,” she said. “It will all work out.” She made me a cup of tea and brought it to me. “This is nice,” she said. “Isn’t it? Just us girls.”

What I would give to have a cup of tea with her now. To let her know how much that meant to me.

Mom was a shy and quiet woman, but she had courage and a steely spine when it came to her family. Her courage showed when, during World War II, she packed a suitcase and took her baby daughter (me) three-thousand miles across the country, by train and bus, to be with my father while he was stationed on the west coast. She stayed there, making a home for us until the war was over.

She showed that courage when she won her first battle with cancer. She never told either of my recently married brothers how ill she was, not wanting to worry them. She told them she had “a little procedure.” When her health returned, it was as if it never happened. She never spoke of it.

But cancer struck again, a different one this time, more deadly.

And this is the memory that breaks my heart. She was in the hospital after exploratory surgery and a terrible prognosis. I went to visit, pulling my chair close to her bed to hear her quiet voice. Her eyes stretched wide and she grasped my hand in hers.

“I’m so scared,” she said.

She died nine months later. That January, the doctors had “given” her three months to live. But she was determined to live until her fortieth wedding anniversary on September 20^th.

The afternoon she died, my father, my brothers and I were gathered around her bedside. She asked my father, “Bud, is today our anniversary?” She was suffering and my father couldn’t bear to watch it go on. It was September 19^th,a day too early.

He pulled her close and embraced her for the last time. He knew what he had to do.

“Yes, sweetheart,” he said. “It is.”

Please take a moment to visit Maura Beth’s RWISA Author Page and take a look at her work!

#RWISA “RISE-UP” TOUR DAY 9, Heather Kindt @HMKINDT #RRBC #RRBC_COMMUNITY #RWISARISEUP

Published on May 14, 2020May 13, 2020 by Jan Sikes25 Comments

RWISA Author, Heather Kindt joins me here today to share her post for the RWISA “RISE-UP” Blog Tour! I hope you enjoy!

LOSING MOM

By: Heather Kindt

Have you ever lost someone? The pain is unimaginable, ripping through you like an express train. But what if you lost that person again and again? The agony of the loss knocks you off your feet until you’re numb. That’s what it’s like when you lose someone to dementia.

My mom was my best friend.

She was my shoulder to cry on, and I told her everything. On summer mornings, she’d lie in bed thinking, so I’d hop in next to her and we’d talk about everything or nothing at all. She was there to hold me when I lost my first love and to celebrate with me when I found my last. We spent an entire summer planning my wedding and finding ways to keep the costs within my measly teacher salary. Rummaging through bargain bins at the Christmas Tree Shop, we found the perfect, gold-trimmed ribbon to don the pews at the church.

After I was married, I moved to Colorado and being two thousand miles apart put a dent in both of our souls. But, she was there when my babies were born, helping me figure out the tasks of new mother for the few weeks she was able to be away from home. She was always there, even if it had to be over the telephone wires.

Until she wasn’t.

It started off slowly—spoiled milk in the refrigerator, aluminum foil in the microwave, and accusing my uncle of leaving tiny, recording devices under her couch. She’s getting forgetful with age…paranoid. That’s what I told myself.

But then things weren’t so small. When my mom and dad finally moved to Colorado, she and my brother took separate cars to church one night. Matt followed my mom back to their house but instead of turning down their road, my mom went straight. I received the phone call from Matt frantic, explaining the situation.

“Why didn’t you follow her?” I thought it was a reasonable question.

“I don’t know?”

I lived an hour and a half away, and it was eight o’clock at night. Pulling on my coat, I waited by the phone. There was no way I’d be able to find my mom in a city at night, though I’d search all night if I had to. Before leaving out the door, I called Matt one last time. Why wasn’t he searching?

A pair of headlights turned up our driveway. Impossible. We lived in a housing development in the country littered with dirt roads and deer. I rushed down the stairs to greet my mother. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and her whole body shook as she melted into my arms.

“He left me,” she sobbed. “I found a road that I recognized that went to your house, and I kept going.”

I wrapped her in a blanket and lay next to her on the bed in the spare room, her body heaving as she fell asleep.

As time went on, the incidents became more frequent. My parents moved back to New Hampshire because Dad couldn’t handle the altitude. My sister insisted they live in a retirement community. My mom didn’t like the price tag, so six months later she found an apartment in the town I grew up in. I was their telephone caregiver, calling every day on my way to work.

That summer when we visited, it was becoming more and more apparent that Mom couldn’t care for Dad, who was eighteen years her senior. He fell a couple of times, and she called the ambulance because she couldn’t lift him. Being there, I learned it was because he was malnourished and dehydrated. A local independent living facility provided them with at least two meals a day, and they could make friends. It worked for a while. Mom accused the maids of stealing her things, but it was her paranoia setting in again.

But then Dad got sick.

My mom insisted on coming to live with us. It was always how I imagined things would be. When Dad passed away, Mom would come live with us and help me with my children. But Dad wasn’t gone yet.

She insisted.

We moved her out to Colorado, and she lived with us. Frequent plane trips to New Hampshire drained my bank account. She missed him and in less than a year she wanted to move back. Things were different now. We hid her car keys, we arranged for her to go to a local senior center while we were at work, and she became severely combative.

For three years, my mother lived with us as I lost her day after day. At times, it felt like she ripped my heart out and stomped on it. I lashed out at her in my own frustration one day when she helped me clean out a closet. I missed our conversations, our comradeship and the love we’d always shared. It was as if someone reached down to Earth, snatched my mother and replaced her with a stranger. After three years, my husband and I made the decision to place her in a nursing home on a memory care unit.

I lost her again.

It was the most difficult thing I’ve done in my entire life, but I had to do it for her safety. Mom would get angry with me for no reason at all and storm out of the house. My husband followed her in the car until he could coax her inside. Her leaving also saved our marriage. The strain and stress it put on us those three years isn’t something I would want anyone to go through.

Have you ever lost someone? I lose my mom everyday, but it’s not as painful now. When you lose someone to dementia, at least for me, it’s like you’re going through the pain of losing someone suddenly again and again over many years. At some point, the pain numbs because it has to, or the stress will eat you alive. I love my mother, but the disease has stolen precious years of her life. It’s in the small glimmers of her spirit—a smile, an mischievous eye aimed at my husband, a hug from recognition—that I find hope that someday we can be together fully again.

Please take a moment to visit Heather Kindt’s RWISA Author Page!

#RWISA “RISE-UP” TOUR DAY 8, Yvette Calleiro @YvetteMCalleiro #RRBC #RRBC_COMMUNITY #RWISARISEUP

Published on May 13, 2020May 13, 2020 by Jan Sikes24 Comments

I am more than happy to host RWISA Author, Yvette Calleiro today. I hope you enjoy her contribution to this blog tour!

SIGHTS by Yvette M. Calleiro

What if,

In our hustle and bustle,

In our go go go,

We made it a point

To slow down and meditate –

Tune in to the now,

The beauty of each moment?

If only we had slowed our lives down

To enjoy the present moment,

We’d have less people living with anxiety,

Fewer suicides and more survivors,

More productivity in our workplace

With fewer hours at the job.

What if we chose

To care about the foods we eat,

To focus on nutrients from our earth

Without pesticides or genetic modifications?

If only we had stayed away

From GMO-products and processed foods,

We’d have fewer loved ones suffering

From obesity and digestive issues

And autoimmune disorders.

What if we cared

About our fellow man and woman and child

Enough to help them find shelter

And food

And employment?

If only we had cared more about

The community as one

Instead of individualism,

We would have risen up

To find solutions for homelessness,

To help rehabilitate the hopelessness

And leave no human hungry.

What if mothers and fathers

Could spend quality time with their children,

Laughing and playing,

Nurturing and comforting,

Molding them into loving human beings?

If only we had valued the family unit,

There would be fewer broken families,

Children would grow into

Caring and confident adults,

Valuing love and laughter.

What if we chose

To heal the mind, body, and spirit

As one,

With natural remedies,

Focused on healing and curing

Instead of masking and prolonging?

If only we had focused on healing

Instead of profiting on illness,

Our immune systems would be strong,

Able to fight harder against viruses and diseases,

Our minds would be calm and serene,

Our spirit would be at peace and

In harmony with the world.

What if we cared about our planet,

Sharing the earth with

Its other living inhabitants,

Making small sacrifices

So our planet can grow and prosper

Alongside us?

If only we had not been so selfish in our ways

And had made the necessary changes

To allow our planet to heal,

Our forests would flourish

And shelter our animals,

Our oceans would provide life and enjoyment,

And our air would be clear and breathable.

What if we changed our ways?

If only we could do something

To stop this downward spiral of catastrophes

That we have created.

We can.

We should.

We must.

When RWISA asked its members to consider the new world we are now living in, they wanted us to consider what we would have done differently to better the situation we are currently in. This led me to think about foresight and hindsight. We all have the ability to pause and wonder what the world could be if we choose to make the hard choices and work toward a better world. Similarly, once the catastrophe has happened, we can look back and realize what we did wrong.

So, I created this poem. Choose to read it line by line or read the left side in its entirety and then go back and read the right side. Either way works! 😊

So often, our leaders look back and say, “Oops!” and then just keep trudging along without righting their wrongs. We, as citizens, do the same. We have become quite comfortable in our spoiled lives. We, as a society, focus on individualism instead of community. We live in a bubble that is only concerned with how enjoyable our own little world is, forgetting that we do not live in isolation. We ignore the pleas of others to help the planet/hungry/homeless/poor because that would mean putting effort or perhaps making sacrifices, and who wants to give up the luxuries that they have become accustomed to?

And so it goes. Our current path is not sustainable. If we are to survive and thrive, we must put the planet and all who encompass it as our priority. We need to make changes/sacrifices to flourish. Just look at what the past month or two of stay-at-home orders has done for our planet. Endangered turtles are being born and surviving. The peaks of the Himalayan mountains can be seen in India for the first time in decades. Pollution levels have shown a decrease in nitrogen dioxide over China. The waterways in Venice are crystal-clear and fish can be seen swimming in the canals. The signs are everywhere.

Can anyone still doubt that humans and our ways have hurt our environment and will continue to hurt our planet unless we make serious changes to our ways of life? How many businesses are realizing that their workers can actually do their jobs from home? That one change can cut back on car emissions, stress, and other pollutions. I don’t have all the solutions, but maybe it’s time that we, as a society, start to use our foresight to change our world for the better.

Please take a moment to visit Yvette’s RWISA Author Page!

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