If you’ve just tuned in for this story, you can find segments 1 and 2 in my archives. I post a new episode every Sunday. This story is a writing exercise for me on two levels. I am writing it in first person (I hardly ever do that) and I am working on ways to make horrible things happen to my characters (which I struggle with.)
Last week, Mr. Parker had rounded up all the employees who were still in the park and organized a search for six-year-old Emily who seems to have disappeared off the roller coaster ride earlier. Her older sister, Jennifer, is panicked. She is responsible for her sister. Let’s head to the amusement park and see what’s going on.
***
I half-listened as Mr. Parker assigned each man a different area of the park to search.
Fear gnawed at my gut. Time was wasting. I had to do something.
Finally, he turned to me. “Jennifer, I know this is not what you want to do, but I need you to check at home and see if Emily might have gone back there. And bring your mother with you when you return.” He shoved a cell phone into my hands. “I’ll call you if we find her.”
I nodded and dashed out the gate. I ran like the wind to our two-story wood-frame house six blocks over. I suppose she could have gotten bored and walked home.
What would I tell Mr. Parker when I returned without our mother? Bitterness arose in my throat. I couldn’t even say the word without feeling angry and sick.
No real mother would take off with some strange man and leave her fourteen and six-year-old daughters to fend for themselves without so much as a fare-you-well. She’d been gone for over six months this time. It didn’t matter much that old lady Jobe lived in the house. At 93, she was blind and almost totally deaf. She depended on me to help her with the smallest of tasks. But, she paid her rent every month and that kept the lights on.
“Oh, Emmy, where are you?” This could get really messy. Attention was the one thing I’d managed to avoid until now. I couldn’t lose Emmy. I just couldn’t, and I wouldn’t let them put us off in some strange foster home.
If nothing else, the woman who called herself my mother had taught me to lie…and lie I would.
I reached the front door out of breath and shoved it open screaming. “Emily! Emily, are you here?”
Old lady Jobe stirred in her chair. I shook her and yelled in her ear. “Have you seen Emily?”
“Huh?” the old lady looked dazed and confused.
“Emily,” I repeated. “Has she been here?”
“I don’t think so, child. What’s wrong?”
It took less than two minutes for me to scour every room in the house. Emily wasn’t there.
Without another word, I ran back to the amusement park. Maybe they’d found her by now.
Oh, if only our papa hadn’t gotten killed. None of this would be happening. Tears flowed as I remembered his strong arms around me in the warmest bear hug. Had it already been two years? Emily barely remembered him. It was after that our mother quit caring about anything or anyone but herself. I didn’t mind that she’d left. I’d been taking care of everything anyway.
From that day forward, it fell on my shoulders to take care of Emily and now I’d failed.
I sprinted through the amusement park gates.
To Be Continued…
Jan, this is superb and I was hooked from the start of this third instalment despite not having read the first two. Poor Jennifer and Emily! You slotted in some of the back story neatly, whilst not losing the pace and drama of the missing girl. What has happened to her? What will they say when Jennifer returns without her mother? Lots of questions raised in the reader’s mind … perfect! I can’t wait to read the next in the series! As for having doubts about first person writing and making bad things happen to your characters – don’t worry, you’re nailing both of these! 😀🌺
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Thank you SO much, Annika. Your words of encouragement mean a lot. I appreciate you!
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I love this story in first person. Again you had me right there with Jennifer in her state of panic. Great background on how she got to this point and is only 14 years old. Very scary!
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Thanks, Denise. I am glad I was able to bring you into Jennifer’s emotion and fear. I appreciate your comment and your support!
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Excellent story-telling Jan. Don’t want to wait a week but will have to do it. 😀
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Thanks, John. Yep, I know the feeling. 🙂
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Ha ha ha.
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I feel so bad for the girls.
Getting their backstory is heart-wrenching. You made me want to know more about their mother and father and how this family fell apart. These short segments are great for building interest and suspense. Well done, Jan.
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Thanks, Mae. I am beginning to think this may wind up being a novella instead of a short story. We shall see where it goes. 🙂
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Heavy stuff this week. Nice work.
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Thanks, Craig. I’m glad you stopped by!
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Jan- I loving this and what a great exercise and to try it out on us. I love it, you’ve got me setting on the edge of my seat. Love it, keep it coming. Love and hugs, Sweetie!
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Thank you SO much, Tonya. I am happy you are letting me try out my exercise on you guys. The fact that you are on the edge of your seat tells me I’m doing my job. I appreciate and love you!! Hugs!
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You’re doing a great job in the “horrible” category, Jan. It’s sheer torture reading this in segments. I want to turn the page! 🙂 ❤️
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Thank you so much, Tina. I am trying. 🙂 It kills me to think of a child being hurt or worse. 🙂
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I know what you mean, Jan. I’m having difficulty watching the news of late. But you’re writing this story, so you have total control. And reading fiction can wake people up and move them to do great things ❤️
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Poor Jennifer. Yikes. This story is so stressful, Jan. I can barely stand it! So well written that it has me on the edge of my seat!
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Oh, Diana, thank you for that comment! I am glad you are drawn in by the story. These girls have a hard row to hoe, so to speak.
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Poor Jen… the weight of the world. This is a great exercise for you Jan — loving the results. Hugs.
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Thank you, Teagan! Your words are encouraging. Hugs back to you!
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